Iwanna LET GO ofthe PAIN I'vefeltso LONG [lady]

[[ h i s t e r i a ♥ ]]

When this began
I had nothing to say
And I got lost
In the nothingness inside me

I was confused
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person
With these things in mind

Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing
That I've got left to feel

Ladypaw

x.female
x.8 moons
x.FrostClan
x.Apprentice

Nothing to lose
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was nothing real
I wanna let go of the pain
I've felt so long

Erase all the pain 'till it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was nothing real
I wanna find something

her looks x.When you look upon this female and her name then you would never wonder why her mother named her the way she did. She is named for her gender though she does fit into very well, even how she holds herself and how her fur looks fits. She is a clean and well-kept, pale gray and pale amber she-cat. Her legs are long and lanky even though her parents weren't very tall, the fur texture on them is almost something feathery but soft like other kittens fur is. The colours of her legs are a very pale gray almost a silver, forming down into her normal sized paws, around the curves is dark gray while three of them are the pale gray of her legs and the fourth is a pale tabby amber. Around the back legs, the pale amber comes down to a stop just below the hip then leads a small trail of it to the foot, the trail ends at what looks to be a heel but it starts up again under the back of the lower back legs and under the feet.

This females pelt is something to look at, her fur is made of elegant colours and it's not too long and not too short, it's almost perfect. Her body is very lithe and thin but it looks full with her gorgeous thick fur, though it's not visible, she has silver scars that run along her shoulder blades. Her pelt is a beautiful pale gray with patches of pale tabby amber scattered over her pelt and a stream of it down the middle of her back and carrying out onto her long fluffy tail. Her tail is longer then it should be and it's fluffier then the rest of her body, it's mostly a pale gray with patches of pale amber running through her tail in a random yet organized.

Her head is the most significant part of her whole body, like most cats her head is in an hour-glass shape but it's thinner then most feline's. Her pale gray ears are taller and more large then normal and the little hairs inside of them are turning from pale silver to a soft gray while the walls are a misty pink. His nose is dark gray blended with the black, it is also outlined with a faded black. Her face is odd compared to her body, instead of pale gray markings, she has stone gray fur with no tabby markings on her cheeks and the mouth of her maw. It flows backward into the back of her head, it is also on her forehead. Thin pale amber lines blend in with the stone gray, the bridge of her nose and on her eye brows are the pale tabby amber that highlights her eyes. Finally reaching her large eyes, they are a pale blue with thin ringlets of green, sometimes they are the pale blue and sometimes they are the pale green. They have thin black slivers for the pupils.

I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right on my face

I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That is not the way I had imagined
It all in my mind

So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way
Everyone is looking at me

her heart x.Now Ladypaw's personality lives up to her name, the one that she had taught herself to have. She is a sociable she-cat, she gets along well with everyone. She has a proud aura to her even though she isn't about to show it, she is very protective over herself and her unknown family. She is a happy she-cat and loves everyone in her clan but will put herself before anyone else no matter how loyal she is. She is an idealist and a realist which conflicts in her greatly. She likes to go out at night, into the clearing, especially when the moon is out, she feels like she belongs under the moon.

She is very intelligent, she usually is nice with everyone but is as blunt as a piece of wood, she is loved through the clan and is a good apprentice. She doesn't take in rudeness or ignorence very well, her blunt remarks and record for holding grudges gets her the cold-hearted personality that she hides pretty well. Ladypaw isn't very stubborn and follows what she's told very well.

She does have a bad side though and if you tried, though you shouldn't, to get on her bad side. Something that brings out her bad side is when she is insulted, whether it's intentionaly or not. She can keep her emotions in check for a certain period of time, it all depends on how stressed she gets. Unlike most she-cats who love and want kits, Ladypaw doesn't want anything to do with them though she will pretend to like them. She keeps her secrets to herself so she won't have to see if anyone is worth trusting.

Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was nothing real
I wanna let go of the pain
I've felt so long

Erase all the pain 'till it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something

her parents x.Burningkit was always pampered by her parents as a kit, she was the only kit out of her mothers one and only litter. She always got special things and never got yelled at which didn't help when she became an apprentice. Her mentor was a big rough male named Darkfire, because of his no mercy policy, he had sent Burningpaw home crying. But his merciless tactics started to make her see what a loyal and handsome warrior he was, with his black pelt and dark amber eyes. She soon began doing better only to impress him, she didn't want to seem like a weak little kit, she knew that it was working because he smiled more and when she attempted flirting with him he flirted right back. But when it came to a flood one day her father and mother both got caught in the tides and were carried away to their deaths, this made Burningpaw very stressed and anxious. Seeing her this way Darkfire said he loved her even though he loved a different she-cat, Burningpaw confessed her love even though Darkfire wished she didn't feel that way toward him.

her kithood x.When it was time to become a warrior Burninglace was already pregnant though it didn't look like it, a few moons after her warriorhood she gave birth to four kits. But so did another queen. And this one bragged about the father, Burninglace just listened in silence, dreading the fact that everyone already knew who the father of her kits was. She knew her mother disapproved of her actions, she knew her father was disappointed in her. Because of her anxiousness, Burninglace gave birth to two still-born, the other two were twins with different eyes, Ladykit had her mothers fathers pelt but her fathers mothers eyes. Calmkit had his mothers fathers pelt while he got his fathers eyes, both kits were equally ignored by Burninglace. On her second moon, Ladykit heard news that Darkfire and Softwind were found dead along with Calmkit. Softwind's only kit wasn't found in or out of camp and on Ladykit's third moon they gave up looking. Her mother always told her that her father and brother always wanted to die, but Ladykit knew that that wasn't true since she and Calmkit were close, sometimes she has her suspicions about her mother and her doings.

her apprenticeship x.Ladypaw was glad to get out of the nursery and away from her mother, she had grown crazy and babbled about family in the lonerlands and other clans. She of course was loyal enough to know that she was talking crazy, Ladypaw never met the mentor that Rosestar had given her for she had died of an illness. Rosestar made Ladypaw her apprentice.

I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own

And I will never feel anything else
Until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything until I break away from me

I will break away
I will find myself today
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was nothing real

father x.Darkfire
mother x.Burninglace
foster-mother x.Springmist
brother x.Calmkit
brother x.Sleepingkit
sister x.Starkit
half-brother x.Glacierpaw
mentor x.Sundream
mentor x.Rosestar

I wanna let go of the pain
I've felt so long
Erase all the pain 'till it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel

Like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something
I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

song : somewhere I belong
artist : linkin park

[[ h i s t e r i a ♥ ]]

accepted ^^